Top 10 Lines from the Funniest Show on TV

You thought I was gonna say any episode of Most Shocking where tazers are invovled but you'd be wrong (close! but not this time, man I love tazers.  when some guy who really has it coming gets tazered I love it.  I back it up on tivo and watch it over and over and laugh.  someday someone will put together a collection of the best tazer shots from Cops and all those other shows, maybe even mix in some America's Funniest Home Videos rejects where stupid people are playing with one!  That would be the best, I might even put up $29.95 for a pay-per-view of that puppy!  SOMEBODY DO THIS!!  It could be a season finale!  A man can dream can't he?) 

The show? My Big Redneck Wedding on CMT. I have no clue how I ended up seeing this show, but I am so glad I did. Do yourself a favor and catch an episode.

I swear I have not made ANY of these up...

10) "He proposed to me by peeing 'will you marry me' in the road."

9) Bride upon receiving her wedding dress via FedEx: "I ordered a 28 and they sent me an 8!"

8) The florist: "I just can't believe you want flower arrangements in beer cans"

7) "I cannot believe you peed my name in front of her shop" - yeah, same guy from #10

6) Grandma "I LOVE Hot Pockets!"

5) Groom talking about writing his vows "I was gonna use fancy words but I don't have a clatorous" Yeah, he meant thesaurus.

4) "I've been working on that arch for a month now and that dern goat just..."

3) "well goat meat's good."

2) "my nails are camouflaged to match my dress"

1) Bride: "I can't find my teef"
Mother: "Your what?"
Bride: "My teef!"
Mother "Want mine?"

Honorable mentions:
"daddy said he's got a hog for the greased pig chase"
Following the ceremony... "Y'all let's go mud boggin'!"


And this was just two episodes! All I know is, I can't breathe right now.