Ok, this year I've finally embraced the flip-flop. Why did it take me so long? You act like its no big deal but it is. See sandals just don't do it for me. I mean yeah, if you're a woman fine, but alas I am not. So this whole point is not in reference to the female culture. No this is speaking directly to the male use of the sandal. Bottom line: I'm not down. Got no use for the sandal. What are you saying when you wear sandals? I know what you think you're saying: I want to feel somewhat formal and its hot outside. Well, I tried the sandal thing once. You sir are not formal. Nothing says I have given up on my hopes and dreams like the use of sandals. And I am serious about this. Sandals were semi-hip (yes I know the word hip hasn't been hip since the early 70's but I'm bringing it back you square!) for like 20 minutes in 1998. A bunch of people bought them and then you could get a pair at Walmart for 10 bucks. Nothing against the fine folks at Walmart, but let's face it once your fashion choices start showing up there you need to take in an episode of The OC or something. Maybe just hit the mall man, see what the kids are wearing these days, because it sure ain't sandals! (Speaking of Walmart, I noticed that when Walmart comes up in conversation there's always one joker who thinks he's gotta pipe off about how they're ruining the free market system destroying the mom & pop operations of the world and then they get all soapboxy on the idea. I love a good opinion as much as the next guy, but when I can get a gallon of milk for like a dollar but have to take out a credit app to shop a mom & pop (I know you can't get a gallon of milk for a dollar there Mr. Coupon Cutter, relax I'm making a point here, get your own blog), I guess I just have a problem throwing money away. Besides, I really don't think this is a conundrum for me the common milk buyer, maybe when the government is done worrying about which ball players have the juice in their butts we can get something done about your mom & pop. Of course if it was my mom and my pop well then I'd be ticked, until then when I need some dish soap, I'm saving the 36 cents.) See the thing is, I guess I always thought sandals and flip-flops played for the same team. They were buds, spent time on the weekends together. Not true... and I can prove it. What is the #1 fashion faux pas involving sandals? As anyone under the age of 50 can tell you it is the use of socks especially dark colored ones. Try to wear socks with flip-flops and what happens? Feels like your big toe is gonna break off! If I'm not mistaken that kind of torture is mentioned in the Geneva Convention. (I do know one thing though if you can wear socks and flip-flops you my friend are a borderline superhero, you can go about your day, I'm not even talking to you...) Need more? No problem, think of the overall convenience factor for the flip flop wearer. You can go from bare feet to outside in like 3 seconds. WITH both hands full. No hands needed. Sandals, not so much. Application usually involves at least one hand. No sir, flip-flops and sandals are not friends. They aren't even from the same towns. Flip-flops are from beach areas like Ft. Lauderdale and San Diego. Sandals, I don't know Kansas? Maybe Nebraska. I think I've made my point. But I do have one issue with the flip-flops (and no, I don't call them thongs, and in this day and age considering the obvious synonymous confusion that could come up, let's just say I don't need that kind of press) I have a tough time dealing with that little slappy noise they make when you walk. For the most part I feel I'm secure enough as a male that I can deal with it, but every now and when I'm in say Walmart and I'm trying to get a gallon of milk really quick, it sounds to the innocent observer like a 50 year old mother coming after her kids in in the toy department in an authoritative manner. And yes, the looks are slightly difficult to deal with...
- "Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months."
--finn
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