Do you know what I hate?

Creamed Corn. I'm serious, I can't even look at a can in the grocery store without stifling a gag reflex. If there is a more disgusting man made creation than creamed corn I have yet to have it attempted to be put on my plate. Who thinks this crap up? Who gets up in the morning and decides if they chew up a bunch of corn and spit in some milk people will buy it. And WHO BUYS IT? Man I can't deal with creamed anything. But when we're talking corn that just freaks me out. Need a convincing fake puke spill? Creamed Corn. Know why? Because its not a stretch! That can is actually full of vomit. What is vomit but chewed up food with whatever you drank during dinner? Creamed Corn = vomit. And if you eat it, I'm sorry you can be no friend of mine, because my friends don't eat vomit. Why are we creaming things anyway? What is the purpose of this insanity. Cream, good. Corn, good. Why are these two things needing to cross paths? What marketing genius said "You know Fred there aren't enough ways for parents to legally torture their kids, let's come up with a vegetable that kicks brussel sprouts in the teeth, whataya say?" Or maybe the cream guy was like "Hey I got too much cream, what should I do with it?" And the corn people were like, "Hey we got our own problems with all this excess corn." So they married the two things together and wallah! Homemade HURL! Mmmm, let's eat! I'm thinking the only way that stuff gets eaten is if somebody losses a bet! Or has to poop... Or both. Did you know that corn makes you poop? Its true. And creamed corn makes you puke. These are just two of the inescapable truths in life. So people, stop creaming stuff! Corn is good on its own, don't make it gross. Don't make anything gross. Few wiser words have ever been spoken.

--finn